And what makes for better output? Is it more honest if I go fully impromptu? In some ways, I want to say yes. But there's nothing dishonest about formal composition... I don't think. I guess the most sincere thing is an instant outpouring of the heart, but I feel like I don't have the right tools yet to make the outpouring understandable.
And one of the most dear things is to express what is in my heart or head, however it comes, and it is understood. And it's funny, because when I say "understood," I don't even mean understood intellectually. I mean, understood with the spirit. Or understood with the soul. Just understood. And let me make it even funnier. Sometimes I might not even understand what is in my own heart, but some expression happens, and someone else can understand it. Music, or the medium, whatever it is for you, is a translator that way.
Or a sieve. Put that big, muddy bundle of chaos that we usually all have at all moments (don't lie... you have a Big Bundle of Chaos TM right now,) into your music sieve, and watch what stays on top. I guarantee, if not clarity, at least a small nugget of understanding. Or an inkling of exposure. Which I guess for some people is scary.
Okay, and then there's this, too. So, why is it that when I listen to these recordings, they sound different from one day to the next? Hmm? It's the exact same thing. It didn't change. So it must've been me? What a difference one sleep makes.
And that's why I take disco naps whenever possible.
Here we go, Day 72: https://ia600502.us.archive.org/19/items/Improv102511/10_25_119_41Pm.mp3
I know I touched on some of this the other day, but I think it's worth revisiting. I have a feeling that the whole "understanding" and layers stuff is going to come up a lot. Brace yourself.