Saw fado last night.  How I miss it so....  It's incredible how one can fall so deeply in love, and forget completely what was without.  I am not a drop Portuguese, and yet, fado finds something in me that was unearthed until I met it.  And now I am more myself because of it.  Silly, I know.

But there are things that we are searching for.  And we often don't know what they are.  We spend our lives scraping at glimpses of what we might catch, of what might satiate us, of some impossible answer.  And even up to our deaths we don't know what the things are that we seek, but we feel strongly the compulsion to want them, these otherworldly feelings.  And that's what they are, if you want to know.  We are hunting down feelings.  "Feelings" as a sensation, physically, psychologically, and emotionally.  We seek to experience the undefinable, uncommon feelings.  The ones that take us far, far away from ourselves, and simultaneously give us an acute magnification of what we call our soul.

The only word I know that comes close to what I'm attempting to describe is "catharsis."  But as far as I'm concerned, it's incomplete.  At least for me....  It's not necessarily a purging I'm looking for.  It's a knowledge.  Or an expression.  Or an understanding, perhaps.  Well, as I said, we don't know what it is exactly that we are searching for, and that includes me.

Anyway, I guess this is all coming about because of fado... which is sort of like my gold coin on the way to the treasure chest.  I don't only know myself better because of fado, but I know you better, too.

So today's improv: a recent perusal through world-music inspired classical pieces brought me back to this favorite Spanish tune that I've heard a lot in flamenco and in Albeniz's music.  I really do love it.  Anyway, I thought I'd grab it for the day.  The improv itself is a bit wayward and incomplete.

Here we go, Day 179: https://ia600800.us.archive.org/26/items/Improv2912/20120209215630.mp3