I couldn't do anything today.  Everything I improvised felt pretty worthless, and even my classical practice was quite lackadaisical.  I'm hoping that with some renewal, I'll be better tomorrow, and at least give myself an opportunity to really experiment with the pedals I borrowed off of my friend.  My classical pianist brand is slowly healing... it will always be there, but I've certainly wandered away from the herd.

I think one of the things that bothers me most is transience.  I hate that people slip in and out of our lives, and all we have left at the end of the day are ghosts.  Yet at the same time I sometimes feel that it is a very romantic way of living, and usually if a person affects us, they've imprinted on us, whether they stay in our lives or not.  And when memories are provoked by the smallest, most obscure triggers, we get a pleasant twinkle of time past gifting such loveliness to time present.  It's beautiful, really.  And maybe what that means is that there is no actual transience after all.  And if that's the case, I wonder how many places I am in right now....

Here we go, Day 221: