In a lot of ways I feel like whatever it was that had been feeding me creatively toward the beginning of this project has disappeared. It's a little bit scary. And though I know this happens, and it's totally normal, I hate to think that all the florid and fantastical channels that I once danced around in with carefree curiosity, might now be shut off. Maybe I'll never find those places again. And that thought really inspires a feeling of loss. Because some of those places made me feel euphorically happy just to daydream about them. And if I can't reach them again?
Could it be that I'm getting tired of this project? Certainly it has been a huge commitment; much more than I ever imagined. But I am still trying, still wondering, still working to get somewhere. Maybe I've lost sight of where I could be trying to go. But... then again, I never knew exactly, or even generally where that might be.
Maybe this is just a lull. There are usually lulls during journeys, right? Yeah... I'm at one of those moments where I'd rather just stay in the hotel instead of going to explore the town. I just need a little rest... then I'll be ready for more. That must be it....
Here we go, Day 260: https://ia600307.us.archive.org/33/items/Improv43012/20120430211509.mp3