Ripples.

And today was a good one:

a fun performance with Akiko that went just right,
thrifting,
fish and chips,
a nice walk on a beautiful fall night.

Since I was little, I've always loved the fall.  It has a smell, you know?

Here we go, Day 67: https://ia600703.us.archive.org/28/items/Improv102011/10_20_111_05Pm.mp3

Fractal Caveat
by Wendell Smith


The best of my poems
have been sung and lost
they've vanished
like the fingers of frost
that come to craze 
the edges of a pond
on early mornings
of late autumn days.

Sand.

There's so much running through my head right now.  I feel overwhelmed with music, and its relationships to all facets of humanity, nature, and the cosmos.  Layers upon layers.  If only I could describe the visual images that I get when I hear really profound music.  Everything I see is complete juxtaposition, at all moments.  But it always points in one direction all of the time.  The seemingly simple is the most complex of all.  And yet still so simple.  And how do I mean that? 

And the more muddied a piece of music, the less complex it becomes.  Sometimes it is almost so overt that the depth of emotion tastes trivialized.  At times, it can be borderline offensive.  That something so weighty as a human emotion could be conveyed with such vulgarity.  Maybe "muddied" is not the word I am looking for.

When I think about the layers, I see through them to the other layers beyond, but I also see an opaque, wooden, blue box, floating in the midst of the layers, it's a layer, too, and I know something is in that box, and I can sense the feeling that is in the box, the things inside of it that give off energy.  And where does it come from, and why, I don't know, but then there's a closed fist that comes from nowhere and punches into the bottom of the box, but it's not violent at all, it's more like striking truth.  And so, even though I can't see through that box, I can feel through that box.  What I suppose I mean is that there are layers within the layers.  Exponential layers.

And the greatest, deepest beauty is when the artist/interpreter can unearth a truly naked emotion, radiating purity, and that's the moment when we understand.  And when I say understand, I mean understand.  And if you have to ask, "Understand what?" then you don't understand. 

Sometimes I feel like I can tap into my subconscious, but usually there are so many layers to wade through that I get confused which connections meet up where, and what, in one instant seems like an Aha! moment, has passed like a flash of light in the next.

And I promise that I don't use drugs.

Here we go, Day 66: https://ia700701.us.archive.org/4/items/Improv101911/10_19_113_24Pm.mp3

Book. Bath.

Earlier today I was thinking about all those layers that are in my classical pieces.  I've written about layers before, and how doing these improvs has been helping me find the layers, and meaning behind each note, and now, also non-meaning behind some of them.  Oooh, wasn't that a twist that neither you, nor I was expecting.  I don't know how this is happening, but the freer I become with the improv, the more I understand composed music.  And the more I control my improv, the freer my composed playing gets.  Huh?  I dunno.  Me neither.

And then, when I put a few notes on a page to see what would happen with my improv, I could develop my ideas even less because my eyes were working harder than my ears, and usurping brain function.  How.  Annoying.

Here we go, Day 64: https://ia700704.us.archive.org/1/items/Improv101711/10_17_119_16Pm.mp3



Whitman.

I was reading poetry tonight.  I was going to post some of it here.  I was thinking...

... these improvs are a little bit like my own poetry.
... these poems don't really express what I'd like to express right now.
... the thrill of the ride makes it fun.
... does that mean that the journey is what it's all about, and yes, that's really cliche.
... the Russians.  They get it.

Here we go, Day 62: https://ia600707.us.archive.org/30/items/Improv101511/10_15_111_28Pm.mp3
and Day 62, Part 2: https://ia700707.us.archive.org/5/items/Improv2101511/10_15_118_15Pm.mp3


All truths wait in all things,
They neither hasten their own delivery nor resist it,
They do not need the obstetric forceps of the surgeon,
The insignificant is as big to me as any,
(What is less or more than a touch?)

Logic and sermons never convince,
The damp of the night drives deeper into my soul.

(Only what proves itself to every man and woman is so,
Only what nobody denies is so.)

A minute and a drop of me settle my brain,
I believe the soggy clods shall become lovers and lamps,
And a compend of compends is the meat of a man or woman,
And a summit and flower there is the feeling they have for each other,
And they are to branch boundlessly out of that lesson until it becomes omnific,
And until one and all shall delight us, and we them.

Blindness.

I had a dream the other night that someone gave me the book, Blindness, by Jose Saramago.  I haven't read this book, and I don't even know what it's about... in the dream, the book was tattered and old.  And for whatever reason, there was some confusion between Saramago and Hermann Hesse.  What does it mean?

I am continuously fascinated by the subconscious and what goes on in there.

Of course, I just read the synopsis of Blindness online, so now I know what it's about.

I think I'm gonna post an improvised sonata today.  Yesterday, "anonymous" commented that Improv 59 sounded like an improvised sonata.  Today's certainly wasn't supposed to be specifically that, but I have three right in a row that I think could kind of do it.  First, second, and third movements of sorts.  Let's try it out.  Tell me what you think.  I definitely find some things to my displeasure, ideas didn't always develop the way I would want them to, but today, I also found a lot of stuff that I really liked.  That's good, because it's Day 60, and man, that's a milestone!

Here we go, Day 60 (woot!), 1st Movement: https://ia600707.us.archive.org/31/items/Improv101311/10_13_118_52Pm.mp3
Day 60, 2nd Movement: https://ia600705.us.archive.org/23/items/Improv2101311/10_13_118_59Pm.mp3
and finally, Day 60, 3rd Movement: https://ia700709.us.archive.org/6/items/Improv3101311/10_13_119_04Pm.mp3

Technology impatience.

In an effort to get to bed earlier than later, I'm not going to write too much.  See, I had planned to do tonight's post about an hour ago, and when I plugged in my iPhone, there was some update that ended up taking, well, an hour.  So I'm patiently waiting here for it to restore itself before I can even listen to today's improv.

*insert melodic whistling here*

Is it done yet?

*insert disgruntled sigh here*

No, it is not done yet.  Instead of being done, it's re-downloading all my voice memos.  How long is this gonna take???

Okay.  Now it's done.

And I'm remembering that today's improvs were exploratory into a little different realm.  So it doesn't sound like progress to me (read: it ain't good), but I think that actually, it is progress.  Because I was feeling a little bit stale there for a while, and this feels new, albeit a little haphazard. 

Here we go, Day 59: https://ia700707.us.archive.org/35/items/Improv101211/10_12_119_56Pm.mp3

Fuller's

So, I was at the Butch Morris Conduction concert the other night at Nublu.  It was pretty interesting.  Such a juxtaposition in sound, improvisation, and performance.  At once completely free and adventurous, and yet precisely controlled to an almost obsessive compulsive level.  I don't know how much of it you get from the website, but here it is for those interested: http://www.conduction.us/main.html

I thought that I would have more of an opinion on the music that was created, but what piqued my interest was watching the musicians operate their instruments.  Over the years, I've been to hundreds of concerts, and seen all kinds of musicians play all kinds of music.  But the difference here was that these were classical chamber musicians playing improvised music as an ensemble.  I thought about how each of them, depending on the way each instrument is played, executes a certain gesture in a particular physical way.  For example, as a pianist, I have very direct access to each pitch, and don't have to hold my instrument.  It's sturdy, so I can just slam my hands on it as hard as I want, if that's what I decide to do.  However, I can't vibrate on a note, and I can't crescendo on a single note.  I also can't bend pitches.  String players have to hold their instruments, they have to worry about intonation and so forth, yet they have that true legato ability, and lots of other good stuff that I have serious string envy over.  Please stop me before I describe each instrument's abilities and limitations...

Anyway, this concert made me reflect on all of this.  And that led me to reflect on a concept that was a hard reality of performing classical music.  That sometimes we allow our emotions to overtake the physical execution, and what ends up coming out is not necessarily what we were trying to express, even though it felt great.  Man, that happens so often.  The ears turn off, and the body turns on.  It doesn't really make for a great performance.  (Not to say that you can't emote physically when you perform, just that there needs to be a balance, and the ears have to stay on.)  But anyway, I just wonder... does that apply to improvised music as well?  It seems to lend itself better in this genre, but still... I wonder if it is better to let the ear lead the whole thing, instead of letting the physical get too out of control.

A lot of times, maybe even all of the times, when I do these improvs, I just sit down at the piano, place my hands on the keys and go.  There's very little preparation or thought before the first notes are played.  And I wonder if this is perhaps in the wrong direction....

... anyway, it's late.  I wanna go to bed.  Sorry to wrap up before I really got my full thoughts on the page.  Maybe more tomorrow on this topic.

Here we go, Day 58: https://ia800504.us.archive.org/1/items/Improv101111/10_11_113_45Pm.mp3

The post-camping sh*t and shower is the best.

I know my ever popular blog postings have been missed by all three of you since I've left town.  I hope this one compensates for the two days that I've been absent.  I don't want to write too much, because I've still got to put today's improv on later.  But I will say that it was pretty hard to do my improvs with all kinds of people running in and out of a farmhouse, talking to me while I played, trying to show me youtube clips, and so forth.  Made for a fun and interesting output.  Sunday's improv was at an antique dealer, on a very old, but sort of in-tune baby grand piano.  That was a one shot. 

Here we go, Day 55 (aka October 8): https://ia600703.us.archive.org/7/items/Improv10811/10_8_113_12Pm.mp3
and
Here we go, Day 56 (aka October 9): https://ia700702.us.archive.org/17/items/Improv10911/10_9_1112_48Pm.mp3



Viajera.

Nothing like sticking your hand deep into an old bag and feeling something gross.

I haven't used this backpack since... 2008, when I went on a two-week trip across southern Spain with my friend, Mike.  It was a super fun time.

We had gone during Santa Semana, and were able to catch many of the region's famous festivities.  For example, we were in Valencia on the final night of Fallas, which is a week-long, city-wide party, featuring a ton of giant statues all over, which took an entire year to prepare (since the previous year's Fallas).  On the final night of celebration, all of the statues are burned.  We were in the town square, and were there to witness the largest, and most important statue set ablaze.  When I had to go to the bathroom, there was a twenty-minute line at the Burger King (relatively short, considering the number of people).  When I got out of there, I was very afraid that I was not going to find my friends again.  Shoulder to shoulder madness.  The crowd was that huge.  It was awesome.

We also saw the famous processions in Sevilla.  I believe it was Maundy Thursday?  I don't remember exactly... whatever the day was where they carry the statues of Mary around town ALL DAY... up to fourteen hours.  It started out really cool, and we got to see the most important one.  That particular statue has diamonds embedded on Mary's face as her tears.  Anyway, by the end of the day, we were just so frustrated that all these processions were taking place, and we couldn't get to where we were trying to go, because of all the barricades.  Pretty cool experience, though, nonetheless.

Anyway, there was a lot of other cool stuff to that trip as well.  I think in 13 days, we had hit Barcelona, Valencia, Sevilla, Cadiz, El Puerto de Santa Maria, Tarifa, Tangier (yes, we also went to Morocco), and Malaga.  Did I miss any?  I can't even remember.

So, today's improv.  Yeah.  Well, so, even before I thought about my pack, and how the last tags are still on there from Iberia airlines, my subconscious threw some Spanish harmonies and whatnot in there.  I used to listen to a lot, and I mean a lot, of flamenco.  I went to shows every weekend for a couple of years.  And so I think the improv started out pretty cool.  But then it didn't really go anywhere.  And that's kind of embarrassing.  I was bored.  That ain't good.  It should've ended about two or three minutes before it did.

It's been a while since I've even put on a flamenco CD, so I feel like anything that I might have pertaining to flamenco in my brain or my fingers is all cobwebby.  Meh.  Again, it is what it is.  Maybe it was just good to get a few things down... I can work on the build over time.

Here we go, Day 54: https://ia600708.us.archive.org/2/items/Improv10711/10_7_119_27Pm.mp3

P.S. If anyone who knows anything about flamenco were to ever hear this, it would be the end of the last shred of my dignity.

Sagrada Familia, Barcelona

A little out of order, Mike at the Madrid airport

Main Fallas statue, Valencia
 

Main statue burning. That movie above is the crowd waiting for this to happen.
Semana Santa procession, Sevilla

Wave breaking cubes that I loved, Cadiz

Gaditano food, Cadiz
This is pretty much a progression of how the trip went.  Started like this. :)  El Puerto

Then, after several days, it was like this.

Finally, the trip resulted in this.

and waiting for the flight home, we took pictures of our loose change.

 
... and lights in the airport.
Well, there were a lot more pictures that I could've put here... like the Alcazar, or the abundant Calatrava bridges and architecture.  Again, it is what it is.  I just put on some photos I like. :)

Holiday.

One more day, and then three day weekend!! Yay!!  I am going to pick me the hell out of some apples.

I accidentally did some straight ahead stuff today.  Haha!  It was kind of funny... based on the ice cream man jingle.  Full of blunders, though, so I'm not putting it on here.

How's this for a holiday tune?  It's from my It's an Atonal Christmas! album.

Here we go, Day 53: https://ia600700.us.archive.org/10/items/Improv10611/10_6_119_41Pm.mp3

I almost... ALMOST put another selection from my Just Chords album, but it is just so self-pandering... I couldn't bring myself to do it.  Even though it's pretty beautiful. 

You know what?  What the heck.  There are no rules.  And who knows... maybe you just feel like meditating.  This is perfect for that: Day 53, Part 2: https://ia600704.us.archive.org/31/items/Improv210611/10_6_118_53Pm.mp3

Rip.

Well, even though I don't really believe in writing about the latest momentous news, I would like to pay my respects to Steve Jobs, who really is the Thomas Edison of our time.  I'm typing on his creation right now.  And I record all of my improvs with another one of his amazing inventions.  He was an inspiration, and I've been reading all kinds of nice things about him that lead me to believe that he was a dreamer that made dream turn real.  I like that.

The saying goes, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  I had six freshly rotting nectarines.  So I made ice cream.  (Don't worry, I cut off the gross bits.)  It's 12:40am, and way past the time when adults should eat ice cream, but there wasn't enough room in the container nor the freezer, so I'm eating some now.  It's damn good. 

I'm setting up shop so that tomorrow I can make some lavender honey gelato, on my student's mom's suggestion.  I've yet to do gelato, even though I've had this ice cream maker for about 5 years or something.  I'm ready to try.  Some people don't like floral flavors.  I happen to associate them with childhood.  Remember those violet candies?  They're kind of old school.  Found them again at a bodega when I lived in Harlem.  Sent me right back to five years old.  Let's see where I go with the lavender...

Tonight's improv?  A total Ravel rip-off.  Think: the Passacaglia.  post.  I feel like I have writer's block, but with improv.  For whatever reason, when I get started with someone else's theme, I feel like I have a lot more control over where things progress, even if it is totally different than the original.  And when I use my own theme, I feel lost.  And I still think I need to sit down and do some studying.  I haven't done that yet.

But, I did put down some classical stuff on recording today, and I have to say... I like it!  I'm not sure I would've been able to say that three months ago.  My ears are changing and growing.  That is exciting!

Here we go, Day 52: https://ia700703.us.archive.org/30/items/Improv10511/10_5_119_39Pm.mp3

And:

Quiv.

What is up with all of these tremolos and trills?  I must be inadvertently trembling in my subconscious or something.  Or something.

OR, it's that I'm being influenced by all of the Beethoven and Rachmaninoff that I've been perusing as of late.  Maybe as it turns cool outside, I'm getting into my winter music.  And Rachmaninoff is definitely winter music. 

I can't wait for this weekend.  I must warn you that I'm going to be camping.  And most camp sites do not have a piano, or other related instrument.  Nor computer.  However, I will be looking for a place to do my improvs anyway, in town.  We'll see how that pans out.  I can't guarantee a post, but I will definitely not give up on the improvs so easily.

Here we go, Day 50: https://ia600708.us.archive.org/25/items/Improv10311/10_3_119_31Pm.mp3
and Day 50, Part 2: https://ia700707.us.archive.org/31/items/Improv210311/10_3_119_55Pm.mp3

...the crinkle of down feathers being compressed.

Must be fall.  They turned on the heat.

And yesterday, my friends and I enjoyed multiple pumpkin flavored libations and delicacies.

That means fall!

Sounds I like:  touch on the unglazed, unfinished side of porcelain, rain (obviously), leaves shaking in the wind (best when the air is cool or just before a storm), my cat's affectionate grunt, dry erase markers as they write, shutter of an SLR camera, pencil on paper, snow crunching under my footsteps, the ocean, an inhaled breath over a microphone...

Here we go, Day 49: https://ia600701.us.archive.org/3/items/Improv10211/10_2_119_09Pm.mp3

And my little nephew, Toby... all grown up.

Wet.

Hey!  It's October 1st!  I don't know quite how that happened, but here we are.  The air turned cool today, and I got caught running in the rain, but it was a welcome experience, and I smiled happily as the drops fell to my face, and I took a shower on the street.  I used to dance in the rain when I was younger, and it was like nothing else.  The sensation of rain is...

Here we go, Day 48: https://ia600708.us.archive.org/14/items/Improv10111/10_1_116_13Pm.mp3

Wul, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

Went to MoMA today, and saw the de Kooning exhibit and soundscape exhibit that I'd wanted to see.  I love going to museums, but man, are they exhausting!  I think it's a combination of standing around for hours, plus the non-stop bombardment of stimulation.  I always get home feeling like I really need a nap.  And so then, when I got home, I took a nap, and had a dream where someone criticized the way I breathe.  Who wants to tell me what that means?

Anywho... naturally, I had eavesdropped on a conversation at the museum, while looking at one of the largest, and most famous of de Kooning's works, Excavation.  Two guys got on the topic of classical training, and how, isn't it interesting that de Kooning had all this formal training, and then he paints stuff "like this," ... and Wynton Marsalis went to Juilliard, blah blah, and ended up leaving to play jazz with Charlie Parker.  (Now, I don't know if that's true, but that's what the guy said.  I'm sure one of you jazz dudes can chime in here, and clarify.  I'll continue with what they said next.)  So then one of them says to the other that, "Well, don't you think that there's such a thing as having too much technique? I mean, you don't want to have none, but at some point there's too much, and you want to be more in the middle.  At some point there's so much technique that the music sounds hollow."

Excuse me, sir, but just because I have amazing technique does not mean that I am soulless.  That would be an absurd assumption.  Did you take logic class in college?  Because I did.  It fulfilled my math requirement.  I can still draw an immaculate Venn diagram, and my Venn diagram is stronger than yours.

I do not know how this post turned into a rant, but there it is up there.  A rant.  Shall I continue?

There are people who are musical, but have none or very little technique.  Sometimes it works just fine, but it will only take you so far.  This is a point that I have had to explain to students on several occasions.  Then, there are people who have awesome technique, but lack a sort of artistic flair.  One might even say that they "sound hollow."  Well, okay.  That's a real bummer.  Because in my opinion, it's easier to be musical, and learn the technique.  Not so easy to go the other way around.  Anyway, there's a third type of musician: has awesome technique AND amazing artistry.  They DO exist, and there are plenty of them.  I mean, the guy negated his own stupid comment by prefacing it with Wynton Marsalis.  Not to mention Sviatoslav Richter, or Martha Argerich, or so many of my other musical heroes.  And just because they can play a ridiculously fast octaves scale does not mean that they would be more of an artist than if they could not play that fast octaves scale.  That is just silly. 

This guy might as well have said, "Oh, yes, yes.  You should practice.  But don't practice too much, or else you'll get too good.  And then you won't make good art."

Okay, rant over.  I could go on even more, by clarifying on the opposite end of that spectrum, but I won't.  So, after I got past my underlying, seething rage over this guy's imbecilic comment, (I missed some of the intermediary remarks,) I listened to what the other guy said, and THIS I found very interesting, and, when I take it out of context so I can forget about Tweedledee, I actually like what he says, which was,

"I like to see what's at stake."

!!!

That comment was actually the ENTIRE point of why I was writing this story.  I don't know how the rant took over.  But I love that statement.  Now I just have to figure out how to translate it.

Okay, so about the improv: this is a little rip-off of my favorite Rachmaninoff prelude.  And there's a brief Brahms quotation in there, too.  I find it too meandering, but that has been sort of a theme, hasn't it.

Here we go, Day 47: https://ia600704.us.archive.org/15/items/Improv93011/9_30_117_55Pm.mp3

I could've put a picture of one of the fantastic de Koonings that I saw today, but I thought you might all rather see me drive my point home.  I made it extra big so you can see the stick figure scratching his head.  And that word on the last line is "circles."  Circles.