The more questioning and concerned I become about this transformation I've been going through, the more certain and confident I feel with my artistic and intellectual evolution. And yet I still find myself constantly under the gun... as if the next ten years is, yes, perhaps quite a long time, but not nearly enough time at all.
It's been roughly eight months since I started this project, and I simultaneously feel like my change has been happening so quickly, and so laboriously slow. Shouldn't I already be a fully-navigating, telescope-in-right hand, brass compass-in-left, improvisation machine? I'm still groping around in the dark; touching damp soil, and wiggly worms, and a few other slimy things.
But maybe that's okay. Because there was never a specific goal, per se, outside of just wanting to be able to improvise. The real harvest here has all been in the journey, the tangents, the twists and turns, the questions, the advices, all of the interesting conversations I've had about this blog, and the people I've become connected to because of it. For all of the formal edification I've had, all of the lessons I've received, I'm not sure if any of those compare to the education I've gotten from this humble little blog and these often silly, seemingly inconsequential improvisations. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to express fully how my life has changed from this. And this is only two-thirds of the way through!
That being said, though, I still hope I'll be able to satisfactorily produce some good improvs by the time it's over. I remain a classical pianist at heart... yes, the end results do matter to me. But I realize more and more every day, as was always my shining truth since I can remember, that what is shared and expressed is far more important than following the rules. And despite protecting and cultivating this notion in my heart for years, I still have to sometimes remind myself that it's okay to step outside of my boundaries.
Now, picking from three super different improvs... what to post, what to post...?
Here we go, Day 242: https://ia800301.us.archive.org/24/items/Improv41212/20120412181543.mp3
I don't really need to translate this, right?