Purpose.

There's been a lot of talk lately about our purpose here.  A big question that none of us will ever know the answer to, at least not until we're long departed from this place.  I've said before that I wasn't afraid to die, but that I'm afraid to not live.  I fear fear itself, and so, in many ways, perhaps I overcompensate by pushing past my boundaries, self-set and otherwise.  I hate to think that fear would prevent me from learning, experiencing, and knowing.  I haven't yet discovered my purpose on this earth.  But I'll be damned if I haven't tried to fulfill it.  I feel like a child, defiant and headstrong.  The moment I'm told no, or you shouldn't, I'm filled with obstinacy, and I can physically feel it.  For better or worse, that's who I am.

I do have fears... most of them are healthy ones.  (Rabid dogs, and knife-wielding strangers.)  I wonder, will those disappear, too, after I've fulfilled my purpose?  And I'm sure the answer is yes.  For reasons undisclosed at the present.

Here we go, Day 103: https://ia600709.us.archive.org/34/items/Improv112511/11_25_115_04Pm.mp3